Super Mario Kommunist

Ich habe es doch immer geahnt.

To anyone raised in the 80’s, few names have such impact as the Super Mario Brothers do. We played their video games, watched their cartoon show, read their newsletter, bought their merchandise, ate their breakfast cereal, and even watched the piece of shit movie “The Wizard” starring the young, chubby cheeked miscreant Fred Savage because Super Mario Brothers 3 made an appearance.

But aside from the slightly racist stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really insidious behind the scenes? The staff here at has found something more, something “sinister” lurking behind the mustached countenances of Mario and Luigi. We don’t have enough evidence to prove anything, just a sparse trail of bread crumbs to follow. And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super Mario Bros. Beware brainwashed fools, for this stunning expose will change the way you look at your favorite Nintendo hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers, it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals into our impressionable minds!

Die Beweise sind erdrückend.